With Hanukkah and Christmas just around the corner, we thought this would be a good time to run a story that was first published a year ago on Travels With Bella Figura USA.
It's a tough story - because it deals with the very best of intentions on the part of the gift giver - and 
the nasty, uncalled-for response of the giftee. Most of us like to think that if we only put some time and thought into what a recipient would like as a gift, that gift will be successful. However, this story illustrates that with some people, nothing will ever be good enough.
And why are we publishing this now? At a time when thoughts are supposed to run towards joy - and love - and goodwill towards men? A reminder that yes, if your heart's in the right place, it really doesn't matter if the giftee's response is less than charitable. Their bad behavior is their problem - not yours.
And so we give you: The Perfect Gift - For The Less Than Perfect Recipient
I know it's the time of year when thoughts should turn to "Peace on
Earth and Goodwill Towards Men - and Women," but I'm steamed. Steamed
as in "smoke coming out of my ears" PO'd. Why such a lack of holiday
warmth and cheer you ask? Well, sit back and let me tell you a tale
(you've been warned there would be occasional rants!)
For the last several weeks there's been a lot of discussion here at Bella Figura USA
about gifts - Holiday gifts - Christmas gifts - the "perfect" gift -
etc. Now this was "work conversation" since I was in the process of
writing our Gift Giving Guide
- and I was thinking a lot about gifts I've received, gifts I wished
I'd received, and gifts I've given to others. But I also had several
conversations with friends on the subject of gifts. Well, here's the
story, relayed by a friend, that has my knickers in a twist. (All
names have been changed to protect the GUILTY).
"Kyra" has a sis-in-law, "Jezebel," that's a real pain in the ass
neck. And in the many years Kyra's been married to the brother, she's
never been able to come up with a gift for Jezebel that Jezebel
appreciated. So a couple Christmas seasons ago, Kyra "racked her
brain" for ideas on a really terrific gift that maybe for once, Jezebel
would actually like. Aha! She knew Jezebel really enjoyed afternoon
tea, and she had just seen a gorgeous solid mahogany presentation box
filled with an assortment of fine teas. Kyra was thrilled - she
thought she'd finally hit on the perfect gift: the box was beautiful,
anyone would be proud to have it out on a sideboard or table - and it
held a product that sis-in-law really liked!
With great anticipation of finally getting a smile of delight, she
gave the gift to Jezebel. And what do you suppose happened? Did
Jezebel flash that smile, and graciously thank her? Did she seem
somewhat surprised, but still manage a very heartfelt, warm thank you?
Hell Heck no - not only did the "rhymes with snitch,
ditch, witch" not manage a "thank you," she had the stupidity to show
what a low class, "born and bred in a barn," miserable excuse for a
human being she is, by getting MAD and berating Kyra for giving her
such a THOUGHTLESS gift. After all, "what the hell was she supposed to
do with all that tea?" She could never possibly drink all that - so
what was Kyra thinking in "burdening her" (my words) with such a lousy
present?
Hm, hm, hm, oh my... my sainted mother, who never let so much as a
"damn" pass her lips, is SPINNING in her grave at the mere thought of
the colorful words and phrases in my head at this moment! But dear
reader, I won't put them in print - fill in your own favorite
expletives to describe this woman and her FOUL behavior.
But why do I even bother to relate this story? Because many people
feel pressure, not joy, in gift giving - especially this time of year.
And it's so unfortunate because that misses the point of what giving is
truly about. And unfortunately, we all have people in our lives who
are like Jezebel - perhaps not as outrageous - but real "kill joys"
nonetheless.
So if ever faced with the nasty "can't even manage a Thank You"
recipient, just remember: it has NOTHING to do with you. It is all
about them - and their own pathetic insecurity and miserable life.
Without even realizing it, their behavior is broadcasting to the world:
LOSER - "I'm such a jerk and I'm so rabidly threatened by you and
jealous of your life (your accomplishments, your family, blah, blah,
blah) that I don't even have the 'character' (not to mention brains) to
just be polite and gracious." So feel sorry for the pathetic loser -
and greatly curtail your time with them as much as possible!
Rant over - Happy Holidays!
(Reprinted with permission: Copyright (c) 2007, Patricia R. Campbell. All Rights Reserved. Bella Figura USA)
(Sammy Cahn)
"Fragile." (That's one of my favorite scenes in the movie: fra-gee-lay! How can you not love it?) Anyway, this treasure came with compliments from my brother and sister in law. (My bro has now proclaimed himself the "king of gift givers" - yeah, he does love hyperbole.) But the gift was a HUGE hit. Everyone who came into our house the last few days has made a beeline for it - talk about an ice breaker!
